i am overwhelmed

God is so faithful.
as time moves on, i find unbelievable comfort in his friendship. he has held me through so many seasons that i thought i would never survive, yet his grace still puts a smile on my face.

the past four days was Hillsong Conference 2011. wow. i was really stretched emotionally, physically and spiritually. there's always that battle of the flesh wanting to kill the willingness of the spirit. but God's strength has to be held on to. i was asked to be a team leader of a venue safety team. i co-led with a second year guy who had done it before, so that took some of the pressure off of me. i absolutely do not like being in the spot light or having people look at me. i don't think it's insecurity anymore. it use to be. but i just love being in the background doing things that people don't know about. as i spend more and more time here at hillsong i feel the Lord challenging me to step out and be noticed. not for my glory, but for the gospel. i guess it's confirmation that i don't like it so much, it's obviously the Lord wanting me to get out of myself.
i think it went well. learning to ask people to do things in a gracious way, and how to manage them. i know it's a really important lesson, it's a little uncomfortable at times but i know i am on the right track. half the time i felt like there wasn't a conference going on, cause i was always in the concourses walking around. got to peek in a little here and there. but it's all about the heart; serving and not expecting anything in return. because really the only smile i am after is the Lord's.
this hardly feels like real life, it seems like a dream most of the time. it's just amazing to me, cause these are things and opportunities that i've always dreamt about. and here they are. wow. thank you Jesus, for placing dreams in my heart and being such a gracious Father to fulfill them.

though i walk blindly your voice beckons me on. i will follow you O Lord of my heart.
you alone do i adore and hold to.

i love you sweet family and friends. half way through my first year here, i can't believe it. thank you for always praying and supporting me. i am truly blessed with a community of faith.

shan