God is so faithful.
as time moves on, i find unbelievable comfort in his friendship. he has held me through so many seasons that i thought i would never survive, yet his grace still puts a smile on my face.
the past four days was Hillsong Conference 2011. wow. i was really stretched emotionally, physically and spiritually. there's always that battle of the flesh wanting to kill the willingness of the spirit. but God's strength has to be held on to. i was asked to be a team leader of a venue safety team. i co-led with a second year guy who had done it before, so that took some of the pressure off of me. i absolutely do not like being in the spot light or having people look at me. i don't think it's insecurity anymore. it use to be. but i just love being in the background doing things that people don't know about. as i spend more and more time here at hillsong i feel the Lord challenging me to step out and be noticed. not for my glory, but for the gospel. i guess it's confirmation that i don't like it so much, it's obviously the Lord wanting me to get out of myself.
i think it went well. learning to ask people to do things in a gracious way, and how to manage them. i know it's a really important lesson, it's a little uncomfortable at times but i know i am on the right track. half the time i felt like there wasn't a conference going on, cause i was always in the concourses walking around. got to peek in a little here and there. but it's all about the heart; serving and not expecting anything in return. because really the only smile i am after is the Lord's.
this hardly feels like real life, it seems like a dream most of the time. it's just amazing to me, cause these are things and opportunities that i've always dreamt about. and here they are. wow. thank you Jesus, for placing dreams in my heart and being such a gracious Father to fulfill them.
though i walk blindly your voice beckons me on. i will follow you O Lord of my heart.
you alone do i adore and hold to.
i love you sweet family and friends. half way through my first year here, i can't believe it. thank you for always praying and supporting me. i am truly blessed with a community of faith.
shan
Saturday, July 9
Monday, May 30
life in Oz
sorry it's been forever since i last wrote.
i have definitely been keeping busy with classes and serving in church. the more time i spend here, the more i love it here. it's really been an amazing season of growth already. i know i'm changing, and i'm so thankful. sometimes i wish you could be here, so you could understand it all. just be ready for a different shannon come december.
i feel like more than anything the Lord is teaching me to operate in his joy. i seriously am always joyful! of course there are days when i just want to be alone and not connect with people. but he is the smile on my face. so many people have told me, i'm such a joy to be around and that they appreciate my attitude. i know that's the Lord helping me. i think as well my heart feels at peace, this all just feels right and i know it's such an important preparation season. and i'm always laughing at something :) i'm so thankful he is my Joy.
a leader came up to me yesterday and said i need to be careful what i listen to. i can't let myself listen to voices of compromise or doubt. God has called me to excellence and that's going to require me to let go of somethings. i know this atmosphere, Hillsong Church, is such an appropriate place for my heart to be; an atmosphere of faith. it's such a building place, everyone is speaking life and faith into me. i know i'm regaining so much of the self confidence that i've lost. but it's balanced between his strong arms.
"You are my strength, I watch for you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely."
psalm 59:9
i have definitely been keeping busy with classes and serving in church. the more time i spend here, the more i love it here. it's really been an amazing season of growth already. i know i'm changing, and i'm so thankful. sometimes i wish you could be here, so you could understand it all. just be ready for a different shannon come december.
i feel like more than anything the Lord is teaching me to operate in his joy. i seriously am always joyful! of course there are days when i just want to be alone and not connect with people. but he is the smile on my face. so many people have told me, i'm such a joy to be around and that they appreciate my attitude. i know that's the Lord helping me. i think as well my heart feels at peace, this all just feels right and i know it's such an important preparation season. and i'm always laughing at something :) i'm so thankful he is my Joy.
a leader came up to me yesterday and said i need to be careful what i listen to. i can't let myself listen to voices of compromise or doubt. God has called me to excellence and that's going to require me to let go of somethings. i know this atmosphere, Hillsong Church, is such an appropriate place for my heart to be; an atmosphere of faith. it's such a building place, everyone is speaking life and faith into me. i know i'm regaining so much of the self confidence that i've lost. but it's balanced between his strong arms.
"You are my strength, I watch for you; you, God, are my fortress, my God on whom I can rely."
psalm 59:9
Monday, March 28
oh home.
there are things about being from the south and having that as part of you that makes it hard to be away from, sometimes. i do miss the states.
random thought for the day. it's funny for the majority of the time i am fine and the homesickness has gotten better. but then i'll see something in a film or be talking to a fellow american, and i just realize how much i love home. especially the south, like it's just a part of me and i really can't deny it.
ha i boiled some corn the other night and smothered it in butter, and i literally felt my southern roots coming out. i was so happy.
culture makes up a huge part of who you are, i'm learning that much.
yep. i guess i just wanted to share that.
random thought for the day. it's funny for the majority of the time i am fine and the homesickness has gotten better. but then i'll see something in a film or be talking to a fellow american, and i just realize how much i love home. especially the south, like it's just a part of me and i really can't deny it.
ha i boiled some corn the other night and smothered it in butter, and i literally felt my southern roots coming out. i was so happy.
culture makes up a huge part of who you are, i'm learning that much.
yep. i guess i just wanted to share that.
Tuesday, March 15
onward
sorry i know it's been ages, a month actually. wow. time has been flying, the days go so fast here.
the college is definitely keeping us busy. which i am coming to appreciate. i think it's good because i have less time to think about home, with family and friends that i miss so much. of course i think about you guys, but i need to focus here and engage. and i'm learning.
i feel pretty well settled now. it's the new norm, and it's funny cause i don't always feel like i'm living in australia. i pretty much go from the church/college to home, and a couple peoples houses and then home again. it doesn't really hit me until i go to the city or a beach. hopefully i can go to the beach again before it gets cold here.
yes autumn has started here. it's gotten kinda cold some days, but then we have these random hot days in between. kinda like home i guess ;) i feel like i skipped summer though, crazy to be back in fall again, in such a short amount of time.
i know i'm changing already, i can't always see it but i know i am. things are shifting. and my view on ministry is definitely being made real. i guess i have fantasized so much about a life in ministry.
not that it would be all glamorous and smooth sailing i guess i am just coming to terms that it's hard work.
it costs you something, and if your personal ducks aren't in a row, you cannot help people to find their feet as well. personal devotion is becoming more and more important in my life. there's just no other way i could do well in ministry without constant communication with God.
and i've been convicted about being lazy with it and choosing mindless things instead of spending time with him.
bible college doesn't solve your life. you have to do your own laundry and work out whatever the Lord brings to the surface.
so it's hard. but i need to learn.
this is a great environment to be in while changing and growing. it's a big blessing to know i am in the right place.
i need to get sleep week one of the women's conference Colour starts this week. i'll be serving, pray for grace and endurance.
i love you
shan
the college is definitely keeping us busy. which i am coming to appreciate. i think it's good because i have less time to think about home, with family and friends that i miss so much. of course i think about you guys, but i need to focus here and engage. and i'm learning.
i feel pretty well settled now. it's the new norm, and it's funny cause i don't always feel like i'm living in australia. i pretty much go from the church/college to home, and a couple peoples houses and then home again. it doesn't really hit me until i go to the city or a beach. hopefully i can go to the beach again before it gets cold here.
yes autumn has started here. it's gotten kinda cold some days, but then we have these random hot days in between. kinda like home i guess ;) i feel like i skipped summer though, crazy to be back in fall again, in such a short amount of time.
i know i'm changing already, i can't always see it but i know i am. things are shifting. and my view on ministry is definitely being made real. i guess i have fantasized so much about a life in ministry.
not that it would be all glamorous and smooth sailing i guess i am just coming to terms that it's hard work.
it costs you something, and if your personal ducks aren't in a row, you cannot help people to find their feet as well. personal devotion is becoming more and more important in my life. there's just no other way i could do well in ministry without constant communication with God.
and i've been convicted about being lazy with it and choosing mindless things instead of spending time with him.
bible college doesn't solve your life. you have to do your own laundry and work out whatever the Lord brings to the surface.
so it's hard. but i need to learn.
this is a great environment to be in while changing and growing. it's a big blessing to know i am in the right place.
i need to get sleep week one of the women's conference Colour starts this week. i'll be serving, pray for grace and endurance.
i love you
shan
Wednesday, February 16
growing pains
so this week has been the beginning of what will be my routine. we split into smaller class sizes from the 150+ student lectures to talk about what we heard. my subjects are communication in ministry, mission and culture, personal leadership, church and ministry, public speaking and intro to Old Testament. I can't believe this is school, it's so cool to be learning more about the church.
it's been a battle back and forth with homesickness. i have my ups and downs; i'm learning to dictate my day and not just let my emotions rule me. always been a struggle for me, and i think this experience is going to cause me to learn it. there's no way i can do this living in my emotions. it's all by the might of the Lord. He is faithful, even when i am faithless and spent.
through pain and sorrow comes the greatest growth. so i will learn to be patient through the darkness, because i know the light is coming. but to the Lord it is always light. he sees the bigger picture and i have yet to praise him in the midst of it all.
i just find it amazing when i ask him to teach me to trust him, he answers. but it usually means absolute removal of all i depended on. i know it's needed, it just feels like i can't breathe at first. having all and everyone i relied on put at a distance has been a challenge to say the least. but sooner or later i will learn to make Him my only source.
besides all that update from when i went to Bondi; it was amazing! it reminded me of a beach in the mediterranean with the rocky coast lines and coarse sand. the water felt amazing!! that was one of the hottest days in sydney, so i was so grateful to be in the cool water. :) i think i will go back sometime and spend the weekend there. it's just so cool i am so close to all these amazing places.
hopefully if i get enough work done before saturday because i am planning on going into the city. me and my roommate just want to walk around and get a feel of the place. i look forward to it.
that's about all the update for now. i need to go to sleep, it's 12:30 am here.
love you,
shan
"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." Psalm 138:8
amen.
it's been a battle back and forth with homesickness. i have my ups and downs; i'm learning to dictate my day and not just let my emotions rule me. always been a struggle for me, and i think this experience is going to cause me to learn it. there's no way i can do this living in my emotions. it's all by the might of the Lord. He is faithful, even when i am faithless and spent.
through pain and sorrow comes the greatest growth. so i will learn to be patient through the darkness, because i know the light is coming. but to the Lord it is always light. he sees the bigger picture and i have yet to praise him in the midst of it all.
i just find it amazing when i ask him to teach me to trust him, he answers. but it usually means absolute removal of all i depended on. i know it's needed, it just feels like i can't breathe at first. having all and everyone i relied on put at a distance has been a challenge to say the least. but sooner or later i will learn to make Him my only source.
besides all that update from when i went to Bondi; it was amazing! it reminded me of a beach in the mediterranean with the rocky coast lines and coarse sand. the water felt amazing!! that was one of the hottest days in sydney, so i was so grateful to be in the cool water. :) i think i will go back sometime and spend the weekend there. it's just so cool i am so close to all these amazing places.
hopefully if i get enough work done before saturday because i am planning on going into the city. me and my roommate just want to walk around and get a feel of the place. i look forward to it.
that's about all the update for now. i need to go to sleep, it's 12:30 am here.
love you,
shan
"The LORD will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O LORD, endures forever. Do not forsake the work of your hands." Psalm 138:8
amen.
Friday, February 4
i do live on an island
so the lack of posting has been due to the lovely internet situation here in Oz. it´s not so good. quite complicated to get set up, and in essence quite frustrating. it´s just that you don´t think about it, when you have unlimited, whenever you need it kind of access. anyways, learning curve from the beginning.
well intensives started this week. it´s pretty much non-stop lectures and information overload. i feel like a total newby, but i know this is where i need to be. there´s been unbelievable opposition, i know the enemy is trying everything up his sleeve. i´ve thought so much of home, how i miss my family and friends, and not being able to talk to them has been very heart breaking. but i went into this season asking God to teach me to be more reliant on him; this is the answer. i´ve felt weak, i´ve felt empty and even considered calling the whole thing off. but i can´t and won´t give in that easy. i´ve waited for this season for too long, for this opportunity to operate out of God´s power and might. i know that at the end of all this there won´t be one thing that i will be able to take credit for. last night i was crying, missing home and family so much, and my sweet sisters here just held me and cried with me. and it hit me, i´ve only known them for about 2 weeks and they are my family already. i can´t imagine not knowing them. it´s such a testament to God´s mercy that 12 girls get along so well, and we desire to know each other and be there for each other. it´s so amazing. it´s quite a unique situation, or a better wording would be a gift from God. just tonight we had some other girls over and they were so amazed at the relationships here in the mansion. i´m so grateful. it really has been a big hug from God with homesickness. even now i can hear all of them talking and laughing, i pray this house is always filled with that. that encouragement would be our language and we would exhibit grace.
this heat is so intense. i´m just soaking in my own sweat right now. you´re always sweating, always thinking about how can i get cool. there´s no AC in the house so we utilize fans all the time. earlier today we hosed each other down in the yard, felt so good :) we´ve really been having a lot of fun. tomorrow we are going to go to bondi. i cannot wait, i mean it´s one of the most famous beaches in the world. it´s just so incredible to me that i´m in australia, able to see these amazing sights. i´ll let you know how it goes, hopefully i won´t come home sun burnt. come on 50 spf ;)
i just found out today how i´ll be serving in the church. we have 2 separate assignments, one that is on a weekly basis and then we serve at the weekend services. so for my weekly serving i´ll be working with the pastoral care team. it will mostly consist of visiting homes where a family member is sick or maybe an older couple who have trouble with day to day activies. i am very anxious to start this. because in a sense i have been on that receiving end. when mom was sick and our friends brought food or cleaned or just did whatever they could, it blessed my family beyond words. i feel indebted to them for eternity for the love they showed us. so i know what a blessing it is and how it just encourages and let´s your heart know "it´s gonna be alright". i´m excited to meet my team and get trained and get out there.
then for the weekend services i will be on venue safety. i know haha, if you´re like me i thought that meant i was going to be like a security guard. haha better start working out. but a second year friend told me it´s more i will be responsible for a specific section in the auditorium and when something needs to be corrected in terms of safety i will intervene in a small way. for major disturbences they´ll bring in the big guys. but i´ll get to be back stage as well, so i´m excited to see the speakers i will meet :D i´ll have an ear piece and everything, so legit. haha
yep. so that´s pretty much the update for now. i really am excited about this season, even though it´s already been really hard emotionally. i know God is faithful and he is the strength of my heart and soul.
i love you and miss you. thank you for praying for me, even though my communication has been awful. prayer doesn´t need an internet connection. know i think of you often.
talk to you soon,
shan
well intensives started this week. it´s pretty much non-stop lectures and information overload. i feel like a total newby, but i know this is where i need to be. there´s been unbelievable opposition, i know the enemy is trying everything up his sleeve. i´ve thought so much of home, how i miss my family and friends, and not being able to talk to them has been very heart breaking. but i went into this season asking God to teach me to be more reliant on him; this is the answer. i´ve felt weak, i´ve felt empty and even considered calling the whole thing off. but i can´t and won´t give in that easy. i´ve waited for this season for too long, for this opportunity to operate out of God´s power and might. i know that at the end of all this there won´t be one thing that i will be able to take credit for. last night i was crying, missing home and family so much, and my sweet sisters here just held me and cried with me. and it hit me, i´ve only known them for about 2 weeks and they are my family already. i can´t imagine not knowing them. it´s such a testament to God´s mercy that 12 girls get along so well, and we desire to know each other and be there for each other. it´s so amazing. it´s quite a unique situation, or a better wording would be a gift from God. just tonight we had some other girls over and they were so amazed at the relationships here in the mansion. i´m so grateful. it really has been a big hug from God with homesickness. even now i can hear all of them talking and laughing, i pray this house is always filled with that. that encouragement would be our language and we would exhibit grace.
this heat is so intense. i´m just soaking in my own sweat right now. you´re always sweating, always thinking about how can i get cool. there´s no AC in the house so we utilize fans all the time. earlier today we hosed each other down in the yard, felt so good :) we´ve really been having a lot of fun. tomorrow we are going to go to bondi. i cannot wait, i mean it´s one of the most famous beaches in the world. it´s just so incredible to me that i´m in australia, able to see these amazing sights. i´ll let you know how it goes, hopefully i won´t come home sun burnt. come on 50 spf ;)
i just found out today how i´ll be serving in the church. we have 2 separate assignments, one that is on a weekly basis and then we serve at the weekend services. so for my weekly serving i´ll be working with the pastoral care team. it will mostly consist of visiting homes where a family member is sick or maybe an older couple who have trouble with day to day activies. i am very anxious to start this. because in a sense i have been on that receiving end. when mom was sick and our friends brought food or cleaned or just did whatever they could, it blessed my family beyond words. i feel indebted to them for eternity for the love they showed us. so i know what a blessing it is and how it just encourages and let´s your heart know "it´s gonna be alright". i´m excited to meet my team and get trained and get out there.
then for the weekend services i will be on venue safety. i know haha, if you´re like me i thought that meant i was going to be like a security guard. haha better start working out. but a second year friend told me it´s more i will be responsible for a specific section in the auditorium and when something needs to be corrected in terms of safety i will intervene in a small way. for major disturbences they´ll bring in the big guys. but i´ll get to be back stage as well, so i´m excited to see the speakers i will meet :D i´ll have an ear piece and everything, so legit. haha
yep. so that´s pretty much the update for now. i really am excited about this season, even though it´s already been really hard emotionally. i know God is faithful and he is the strength of my heart and soul.
i love you and miss you. thank you for praying for me, even though my communication has been awful. prayer doesn´t need an internet connection. know i think of you often.
talk to you soon,
shan
Monday, January 24
1st full week
well thanks to manly beach i can say i have a aussie sunburn now. we went there friday, all day. it kinda reminded me of cali the way the beach was set up. really brown sad, and the water was a bright aqua. it was a little cold, i only got in for about 20 mins. then the lifeguards were saying a lot of people were getting stung by blue bottles. they are little jellyfish type things that give a nasty sting, it can last 30mins to an hour. and nothing can really numb the pain, so i decided to not get back in the water. but even with 50 spf i got burnt. i fell asleep and it's kinda funny cause it's just one side of my shoulders. aloe vera is my good friend now. :)
i have a roommate now! her name is Anna. she's from sweden. she's already becoming a big sis to me, she's about 28. i think we are going to get along very well. she's a dancer
i also went to my first church service yesterday. i can't believe this is my church home for the next 2 years!? i just can't believe i'm here in general. it feels like a dream. it was cool though because louie giglio from passion in the states was preaching. a little slice of home.
sorry it's been a week. internet isn't at our house yet so i have to walk to good ol' mcdonald's (or macca's as aussie's call it). i'm adjusted well to the new time and atmosphere so far. i start orientation tomorrow, there i'll find what classes i'll be in and my schedule. so hopefully from there i can set up skype times.
i miss you and love you sweet family and friends.
shan
i have a roommate now! her name is Anna. she's from sweden. she's already becoming a big sis to me, she's about 28. i think we are going to get along very well. she's a dancer
i also went to my first church service yesterday. i can't believe this is my church home for the next 2 years!? i just can't believe i'm here in general. it feels like a dream. it was cool though because louie giglio from passion in the states was preaching. a little slice of home.
sorry it's been a week. internet isn't at our house yet so i have to walk to good ol' mcdonald's (or macca's as aussie's call it). i'm adjusted well to the new time and atmosphere so far. i start orientation tomorrow, there i'll find what classes i'll be in and my schedule. so hopefully from there i can set up skype times.
i miss you and love you sweet family and friends.
shan
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